The Next Three Days

Some part of me hasn't been happy with Paul Haggis since I saw the movie Crash.  I remember seeing the film and feeling manipulated, used, and conned out of my time.
Now, I looked at my movie queue and saw that the next movie was The Next Three Days.  Okay, I thought.  I somewhat remember hearing about this film, and I couldn't remember whether it was well-received.
If it wasn't, I wouldn't be surprised.  That movie just kept going and going and I felt like it hadn't started about 45 minutes in.  For a film like this, it should be a great set-up -- a teacher attempts to break his convict wife out of prison.  And the performances by Elizabeth Banks and Russell Crowe are moving, nothing against them.
But...I found myself checking the time as I watched the movie, counting how many minutes until the end, because I wasn't sure it would ever get going in some forward direction.
And I was wondering why Liam Neeson was put in such a small role.  It stood out in a way that I can almost describe as awkward.
Thankfully, it got going and I got invested back in the film, rooting for the escape to be pulled off.  Then, I noticed something in the credits.
"Based on the film 'Pour Elle'"
...what?
Turns out that once again, Hollywood can't help but go to other film markets for ideas.  IMDB tells me that the original Pour Elle has a runtime of 96 minutes (vs 155 minutes), the wife was sentenced to 20 years (not life, like the Haggis version), and a budget of approx 8 million Euros (which pales to the 35 million spent on the American verson)
I know there have been many jokes about how Americans have to  make everything bigger and better.  I have not yet seen Pour Elle, so I can only definitely say that they made it bigger.
Definitely bigger.

Daybreakers

I really need to challenge myself more often.
Let me restart.
I will give anything a chance, as far as movies and tv shows are concerned.  My usual rule is, "As soon as I want the main characters to die in a fire, I'm done."  It's why I don't watch True Blood.
Now, when I say I will give anything a chance, there has to be something about the movie that will grab my attention -- the actors involved, something to do with the story, subject matter that I will find interesting -- and as of late, I've turned that to "movies that look like they will be incredibly stupid and ripe for picking apart".  Which is why I selected the movie Daybreakers.
I had never heard of this film.  It apparently passed in through around out of theaters and to the rental market a few years ago.  It made back its budget, was labeled as a B movie and (I suppose) was not to be heard from again.  I'm glad I added it to my queue, because This.  Was.  Fun.
They had me from the opening -- a suicide.  Not the best way to open every movie, but it works here.  I immediately wanted to see more.
I'm not claiming that this film is Citizen Kane or even Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it is an interesting variant on the vampire story; vampires have taken over, are farming humans for their blood supply, and have gone beyond "peak blood", to steal and change a phrase.  The social and economic overtones in this movie can be chilling, and the journey of watching the search for a cure was enthralling.
Things this movie did right:
--No romantic subplot.  There were hints of one, but there was no kissy-kissy.  That was fucking refreshing.
--Told us only as much as it needed to.  The ending was much more satisfying thanks to some storytelling switcharounds.
--Allowed only a few comic moments.  Thanks to Willem Dafoe
DIVERSION!
The last time I can remember being so taken back by something I was watching was when I saw Boondock Saints for the first time.
END DIVERSION!
--cast talented actors that were right for the parts
--did not try to do too much with special effects
--watching a low-level employee raid blood supplies while a riot is going on...

There were a lot of things I really liked about this film.  I want to say that the fact that I can't think of any one thing to point out and I'm having a hard time criticizing would be the mark of a great film, but this isn't a great film.  And I know it's not a great film because my world view is not being challenged any way by this flick.  In fact, it's reinforcing more than a few notions I have (99 PERCENT!) It's a really good popcorn flick, and I would not mind watching it again.

2-Headed Shark Attack

I willingly watched this movie, and I still don't know why.
As some famous dead person once said, "Because it's there."
2-Headed Shark Attack is another helping of sea-carnivore, brain-damaged idiocy from The Asylum.  The studio that brought us Transmorphers and Mega-Shark Vs. Giant Octopus has their formula down, and they certainly know how to work it.
Basic plot: 2-headed shark attacks boat.  Then it attacks the captain and coeds from the boat.  Then, it attacks an atoll. Atoll, you might ask?  And the smart-asses might yell out, "69 cents!", because some of us never moved on from Rocky Horror.
Atoll: (n) a coral island (or islands) that encircles a lagoon partially or completely.
Now!
These films are not watched for the great acting (there's barely any good acting) or the clever writing (exposition HO!) or even for the great special effects (bad CG, frenetic [and occasionally confusing] editing, and obvious rubber models).  They're background noise for parties, cannon-fodder for MST3K/Rifftrax pretenders, and for the rare "Did that really just happen moments" like:

• a stoner stabbing a shark with a wooden crucifix
• 2 girls who think they've escaped to the safety of a dock getting eaten by said 2-headed shark
• Carmen Electra doing her best actressing
• Killing off the only black guy by dumping him off a boat and not going back to fish him out of the water before he becomes chum
• Brooke Hogan being a genius with things mechanical...and she can weld

I can't harp on her too much.  She's doing her damndest with the little experience she's had in films.  And she was one of the few people worth paying attention to (with Charlie O'Connell, Corinne Nobili, and Geoff Ward sharing the dubious, but important honor).  At some point, I hoped these four wouldn't get eaten.

I also have to give some (not much) credit to the writers for giving Brooke's character something resembling a personal arc and journey.  Granted, most of it was through exposition dumps and I was really hoping she would

Random thoughts from during the movie:

"I only care about the non-english speaking characters right now."

"So, automatic lesbians?"

*waves arm in random directions * "I'm welding!  I'm welding!" (that's for the first welder, not Brooke.  She was somewhat believable.)

"Yeah.  Boobs.  So what?  I have the internet."

"Okay, now pretend you're a dolphin.  Now, spit corn syrup out of your mouth and cry."

"Why do you want to rescue him? Movie, I am disappoint."

"Suddenly we're in a nature sanctuary?"

"Why is the atoll sinking?"

"Why does this shark hate atolls so much?"

If it seems like I expected more -- I didn't.  But at least knowing where things fell short and where there was some good in this obvious cash-grab of a film makes me feel like I'm still paying attention.

Right Up the Spine

Well, things have changed. Since I last wrote, a number of things have changed. I can't really say that they were a result of reading Lady Chatterley's Lover, but that book did get my brain going in ways I didn't expect.

Earlier this week, I played a quickie show on no sleep. I didn't know how I was going to survive the process, but watching the video later reaffirmed my faith in my abilities. The guy who booked me even wrote me afterwards to thank me for playing the show again. If they're ever looking for a guy who looks like a strung-out meth-head to sing about creative stagnation and corporate greed, I'm set.

I've been getting the NaNoWriMo e-mails again. I did try to write last year -- it was another result of life stress providing inspiration. I would write at night, clicking my laptop keys and hoping that they wouldn't wake her up. Of course, the cycle would go through and things would be okay. And I forgot all the work I did and all the emotions I had. It's a shame, because I really enjoyed the world I had created. Seemed so wrong to leave it unfinished.

I think I'm going to try something completely different this year. I have an idea for a tv series that I always knew I would have to wait to try. People don't want to commit to big ideas unless there is big money involved. But I don't have to convince anyone to commit to a book.

Now, to contemplate shrews.

Boy, did I forget about this blog or what?

I got an e-mail from Tamatha telling me that my review -- my only review, sad to say -- was going to be posted on Pajiba this Friday. Ecstatic? You betcha! Then...

hang on, that's for the cb-iii. i signed up for that at the beginning of the year, i even had other reviews saved on my hard drive. i read a ton of books this year! what happened?

Life got in the way, is what happened. Last year, I felt that my guitar playing and performing had become non-existent. I worked out a deal with a friend of mine to host an improv show every week, the songbird of the bar. I told myself I would come up with something different to do every week.

I'm pretty sure that for a few months, I had the two things juggled. I was playing music again and consuming books in the way that I loved. And thanks to the surprise Kindle I received for a previous Christmas, it was easier to take a bundle of books with me. Even if they were public domain and occasionally trash, it was still something to read.

And then March happened.

and I didn't feel like reading anymore.

Then July happened.

And I stopped wanting to play music.

And now, it's October.

I'm in the middle of working an almost 50-hour week, I'm about to undergo a major relationship change, I've become an uncle, and I feel drowned.

Jim Doggie's CBR-III Review #1 - The Fountainhead

Enshrine Mediocrity, And The Shrines Are Razed

A review of The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand.

Wait, wait, come back. I promise this won't hurt.

Ayn Rand's third novel tells the majestic (to read her hero-worship descriptions) tale of Howard Roark, an architect thrown out of school for not following style assignments and making modern-looking buildings when everyone else is still copying Early Colonial. Knowing what the hell any of that means doesn't matter when there is all the juicy drama to enjoy; a rival architect with mommy issues and a severe lack of ideas (or spine), a ice princess who can only enjoy sex if she's being raped, and a menacing newspaper columnist who appears to have his hand in everything. Those are the real reasons to read this book; the joy of watching the characters crash and spark each other makes the 694 pages a bit less of a chore.

I do say “a bit less” because Ayn Rand is pretty clear about the people she doesn't like, the ones who contribute nothing to society or clutter its great historic pages with folks songs and plays about normal people. Repeated rambling about second-handers and parasites occur ad nauseum, drilling the idea into the reader's brain but dulling the argument as the speeches go on (and on and on and on and on and on....), reaching the point where it seems the only way to make a real impact with The Fountainhead is to hit someone with the book.

I did get a funny feeling while reading a part of the book where a theater critic decides to praise a shit-tastic play. He reasons that he doesn't get anything out of promoting a play that is good, but selling a dung heap to hungry audiences is a demonstration of real power. My mind immediately went to the blocks of tv that I now avoid to prevent myself from screaming at the set in frustration. I thought of the last movie I saw in theaters; Coraline. A unique, entertaining film that did not have to be sold to me...then I thought of Faster, and how many ads I've seen for it on television and hogging billboard space in Chicago. Jersey Shore, Auto-Tuned anything, Twilight, and America's Next Top Model – I've ingested more than a few of these and never thought they were anything special. The very fact that these mediocre works were popular and being discussed with some modicum of respect made me wonder if there is a statue in America dedicated to “meh”.

(See? It's possible to get something of worth out of an Ayn Rand piece and not turn into a libertarian fuck-nutter)

It can be hard to separate the story that lives in The Fountainhead from the preaching that interrupts things. And yes, it may take a couple of tries to do it, but I swear that it's worth it.

on a loosely related note, I refused to put any references to The Incredibles in this review. I don't care how much Randian philosophy that movie contained, it bored me stiff and I would rather watch Cars to hear Paul Newman's voice.